It's been awhile since i've updated ~ life had thrown us a curveball. The kids and I were involved in a horrific car accident on 31 July ~ we were lucky to walk away from it but my oldest Daughter and I took the brunt of the accident.
I've been dealing with Physical Therapy 3x's a week and they think I may have a torn rotator cuff so I may be having surgery again (3rd time this year, uggggg!)
Weight has been crazy off the charts lately but i'm glad to say that I got my urges under control and I am back down to where I need to be ~ and also a new LOW!!!
I've found that gum and ice are my new best friends ~ I don't go anywhere w/o them, when I think I need to put food in my mouth (and I don't feel hungry) I turn to the gum and before I know it the urge is gone!!!
It's hard to fathom that I came from a size 24 and that my size 6's are fitting comfortably, maybe 4's are in my future?!? Wow, size 4???
Feeling great besides my accident injuries, looking forward to next year for sure ~ this year has been NO FUN!!!!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Difference a Phone Call Makes....
Tonight my dear friend Tina (a military wife herself ~ Miss YOU!!!!) called to check in on me and it really helped me put things into perspective, sometimes when you think you have it bad...you really don't.
My weight has been fluxuating lately and we have some family drama going on (which I won't go into) AND summer slacking is here so i've noticed bad habits die hard. What a breath of fresh air to hear that Tina thinks I am an inpiration to her and others, WOW!!!!
That makes me want to work harder, exactly what I need to DO!!!!!! I normally have a happy-to-lucky cheery disposition but it's been missing lately.....let's fix that NOW!!!
Starting tomorrow my butt is back into the gym (yay) and no more staying inside the house to work around naps or housework ~ use it before you lose it!!!!!!!!
Yeaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My weight has been fluxuating lately and we have some family drama going on (which I won't go into) AND summer slacking is here so i've noticed bad habits die hard. What a breath of fresh air to hear that Tina thinks I am an inpiration to her and others, WOW!!!!
That makes me want to work harder, exactly what I need to DO!!!!!! I normally have a happy-to-lucky cheery disposition but it's been missing lately.....let's fix that NOW!!!
Starting tomorrow my butt is back into the gym (yay) and no more staying inside the house to work around naps or housework ~ use it before you lose it!!!!!!!!
Yeaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Dealing with Sadness....
There are so many things going on/around in my life right now and I feel a terrible blanket of sadness covering me.
Since I woke up this morning I can't shake this feeling of breaking down into tears over everything, I just want it to stop and feel normal.
I know how to make myself happy again but it will hurt the ones I love the most.
Since I woke up this morning I can't shake this feeling of breaking down into tears over everything, I just want it to stop and feel normal.
I know how to make myself happy again but it will hurt the ones I love the most.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A Year Ago Today.....
I woke up very nervous, worried that my life would end ~ but that part of my life DID end a a wonderful new one begun!!!!!!!!
Yes, I had Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass surgery a year ago today, I did it to save my life. For the better part of 20 years I struggled with my weight, my highest (non-pregnant weight) was 275 but I ballooned up to 300 when I delivered Colin.
With that weight I also struggled with the verge of stroke complications which forced me to deliver our last baby (Edward) prematurely, it was the wake-up call I needed to change my life. I refused to be that obituary in the paper or the youngest patient in the nursing home.
I literally had no idea how much I was missing out on life, although I wore rose colored glasses most of the time I did not see myself as "that obese", really I was morbidly obese.....morbidly obese. I never imagined in my life that I would be that way, but who does?????
So a year later, I am at a NORMAL weight and a NORMAL BMI. All my co-morbidites are gone (stroke risk, diabetes etc). I've lost 115 pounds forever with those final pesky 5 pounds left to go, LOL!!!!
So is it easy now a year later???? Well, yes and no. I will forever have to watch what I eat ~ I have easily fallen into the trap of eating whatever I want and have had to pay the price ~ so many GBS patients do. I always have to remind myself that food is my fuel but along the way I have found delicious alternatives, i'm not missing out on anything.
Thanks to everyone that has supported me along the way, my family that has been my guinea pigs on new recipes (LMAO) and also my rock during some scary times this year (bowel obstruction surgery), I will never regret saving my life with this surgery, NEVER!
I will add some pics later today to share my journey!!!
Yes, I had Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass surgery a year ago today, I did it to save my life. For the better part of 20 years I struggled with my weight, my highest (non-pregnant weight) was 275 but I ballooned up to 300 when I delivered Colin.
With that weight I also struggled with the verge of stroke complications which forced me to deliver our last baby (Edward) prematurely, it was the wake-up call I needed to change my life. I refused to be that obituary in the paper or the youngest patient in the nursing home.
I literally had no idea how much I was missing out on life, although I wore rose colored glasses most of the time I did not see myself as "that obese", really I was morbidly obese.....morbidly obese. I never imagined in my life that I would be that way, but who does?????
So a year later, I am at a NORMAL weight and a NORMAL BMI. All my co-morbidites are gone (stroke risk, diabetes etc). I've lost 115 pounds forever with those final pesky 5 pounds left to go, LOL!!!!
So is it easy now a year later???? Well, yes and no. I will forever have to watch what I eat ~ I have easily fallen into the trap of eating whatever I want and have had to pay the price ~ so many GBS patients do. I always have to remind myself that food is my fuel but along the way I have found delicious alternatives, i'm not missing out on anything.
Thanks to everyone that has supported me along the way, my family that has been my guinea pigs on new recipes (LMAO) and also my rock during some scary times this year (bowel obstruction surgery), I will never regret saving my life with this surgery, NEVER!
I will add some pics later today to share my journey!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Relief but Reality....
Okay, so i'm back to where I was before vacation time....I always need that BIG dose of reality to kick my ass and keep it there but it waivers when i'm away from my regular routine.
You would think that after almost 11 months of the same routine that I would "get it" but I don't know why I do this to myself. I am riddled with guilt, I purposely torture and ridicle myself for not being more diligent ~ not a great feeling let me tell ya.
On a positive note I pulled out my Cooking Light cookbook which has a whole years worth of receipes in it; I highlighted recipes that were realitively easy to cook/prepare and that my family would enjoy.
We all need to tighten our belts, even though I don't make pasta/rice/bread dishes anymore I find that I am making the same old boring not exactly figure friendly dishes...no MORE! I bought 2 weeks worth of groceries to jumpstart us towards healthier living.
On the menu tonight was homemade beef and barley soup, homemade simple white bread and homemade fudgy mocha toffee brownies. It went well, everyone seemed happy and I am motivated to do more!
Amy
You would think that after almost 11 months of the same routine that I would "get it" but I don't know why I do this to myself. I am riddled with guilt, I purposely torture and ridicle myself for not being more diligent ~ not a great feeling let me tell ya.
On a positive note I pulled out my Cooking Light cookbook which has a whole years worth of receipes in it; I highlighted recipes that were realitively easy to cook/prepare and that my family would enjoy.
We all need to tighten our belts, even though I don't make pasta/rice/bread dishes anymore I find that I am making the same old boring not exactly figure friendly dishes...no MORE! I bought 2 weeks worth of groceries to jumpstart us towards healthier living.
On the menu tonight was homemade beef and barley soup, homemade simple white bread and homemade fudgy mocha toffee brownies. It went well, everyone seemed happy and I am motivated to do more!
Amy
Monday, June 15, 2009
Seriously WTF!?!?!
Why is it everytime I go home I pig out? I don't know what it is about being there but I give myself an all access card to be baaaaaaaad and I have to pay the price when I get home and I am guilt ridden.
Today I called and made myself a mental health appointment to talk it over with a provider, I MUST STOP THIS...I will not become the STATISTIC and gain weight back!
I know what it takes to stay successful but something about being home triggers something inside me to gorge on CRAP and I have got to put a stop to it.
I feel really shitty right now, going back to liquids for as long as I can stand it so I can get back to where I was......FUCK......this is sooooo not necessary Amy what the HELL were you thinking ~ I wasn't!!!!!????!!!!!
God help me, I'm struggling here. Wahhhh!
Amy :(
Today I called and made myself a mental health appointment to talk it over with a provider, I MUST STOP THIS...I will not become the STATISTIC and gain weight back!
I know what it takes to stay successful but something about being home triggers something inside me to gorge on CRAP and I have got to put a stop to it.
I feel really shitty right now, going back to liquids for as long as I can stand it so I can get back to where I was......FUCK......this is sooooo not necessary Amy what the HELL were you thinking ~ I wasn't!!!!!????!!!!!
God help me, I'm struggling here. Wahhhh!
Amy :(
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